My Husband Has ED and Refuses Help: What to Do Now

6 min
The impact of erectile dysfunction is not limited to the intimate relationship, it actually affects all aspects of the relationship, often leading to feelings of frustration, inadequacy, and anxiety for both partners. This condition can create emotional distance, as partners refrain from sexual activity to avoid embarrassment. Partners may feel rejected or assume they are no longer attractive, which can lead to poor communication and trust between both parties.

The Reasons Behind Refusal for Help

Embarrassment or anxiety can prevent men from having meaningful conversations with their partners or their doctor about sex and erectile dysfunction problems, for several reasons, most notably:

  • Feeling shame: Many men feel extremely embarrassed or ashamed about erectile dysfunction, as they consider it a blow to their manhood and self-esteem, which makes them refuse to seek help.
  • Stigma and societal pressure: Societal expectations about male sexual performance can create stigma around ED, leading men to avoid discussing this problem or seeking treatment.
  • Lack of awareness: Some men may not realize that erectile dysfunction is a common and treatable medical condition, and incorrectly believe that it is an untreatable personal failure.
  • Fear of diagnosis: Men are often afraid that ED is a symptom of more serious underlying health problems, such as heart disease or diabetes, which makes them reluctant to seek a diagnosis.
  • Refusal to use medications: Concerns about side effects, cost, or dependence on ED medications can prevent men from seeking medical help.
  • Misconceptions about aging: Some men believe that ED is an inevitable part of aging, and therefore see it as something they should accept rather than treat.
  • Relationship affected: Men may fear that discussing ED will make their partner view them differently, creating additional emotional barriers.
  • Privacy concerns: The desire to keep sexual health issues private can prevent men from seeking help, especially if they fear their condition will become known to others.
  • Fear of medical procedures: Anxiety about undergoing medical tests, procedures, or treatments (such as injections or surgery) can prevent men from seeking professional help for ED.

For a deeper understanding of neurological causes of erectile dysfunction and how they impact overall sexual health, we invite you to visit our comprehensive guide on Neurological Erectile Dysfunction.

Communication Strategies for Discussing Erectile Dysfunction

Effective communication about erectile dysfunction is crucial to treating the problem and improving the quality of the relationship. Here are some effective strategies that can be followed:

  • Choose the right time and place: Determining a private and comfortable place to have the conversation will ensure that both partners feel comfortable.
  • Be honest and open: Share your feelings and concerns openly. Acknowledge the emotional impact of ED on both of you and stress that it is a common and treatable condition.
  • Be supportive and Non-Judgmental: Show compassion and understanding, and reassure your partner that ED does not affect how you feel about him and that you are in this together.
  • Encourage professional help: Suggest seeking medical advice or treatment as a group effort. Suggest it as a way to improve the relationship and quality of life.
  • Educate yourselves: Learn about erectile dysfunction together. Understanding the medical and psychological aspects can reduce anxiety and stigma, making it easier to address the problem constructively.
  • Focus on Intimacy: Emphasizing that intimacy is more than just sexual performance. Explore other ways to connect physically and emotionally to maintain closeness.

Providing Emotional Support and Encouragement

Emotional support and encouragement from a partner play a crucial role in helping a husband cope with erectile dysfunction. Here’s how:

  • Building Confidence: Supportive behavior can help rebuild a man’s confidence and self-esteem.
  • Reducing anxiety: Emotional reassurance can reduce performance anxiety.
  • Enhancing Communication: An open partner encourages honest communication about fears, insecurities, and expectations, which promotes mutual cooperation to address ED.
  • Encouraging treatment: Partners who express understanding and concern can motivate men to seek professional help.
  • Maintaining Intimacy: Emphasizing the importance of non-sexual forms of intimacy can strengthen the emotional bond.

Exploring Alternative Treatment Options

Supporting your partner with alternative treatment options for erectile dysfunction can be very helpful. Here are some suggestions and lifestyle changes you can discuss with him:

  • Exercise regularly: Encourage activities such as walking or swimming to improve cardiovascular health and blood flow.
  • Healthy Diet: Promote a balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins to support overall health.
  • Quit smoking: If your partner is a smoker, suggest that he quit smoking, because smoking can damage blood vessels and reduce blood flow to the penis.
  • Limit alcohol intake: Reducing alcohol consumption can improve sexual function.
  • Stress management: Encourage your partner to engage in relaxation practices such as yoga, meditation, or mindfulness to manage stress that can affect erectile function.
  • Kegel exercises: Strengthening the pelvic floor muscles through Kegel exercises can improve erectile function and urinary incontinence.

Seeking Professional Help as a Couple

Seeking professional help as a couple for erectile dysfunction can be a supportive and effective way. Here are some options:

  1. Sex therapist:
  • Behavioral therapy: A sex therapist who specializes in sexual health issues can provide techniques to improve sexual function and intimacy. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and sensory focus exercises are commonly used.
  • Couples therapy: Therapy sessions can address the emotional aspects of ED, enhancing communication and reducing anxiety about performance.
  1. Psychologist or counselor:
  • Emotional support: A psychologist or counselor can help address psychological factors that contribute to ED, such as anxiety, depression, or stress.
  • Couples counseling: Seeking a counselor can improve relationship dynamics and emotional support.

n conclusion, dealing with a husband who has erectile dysfunction and refuses help can be challenging and stressful. It’s crucial to approach the situation with understanding and support, encouraging open communication and professional assistance. For personalized guidance and expert advice, we invite you to contact the specialists at Aneeq. Our team is dedicated to improving men’s health in UAE and is here to help you navigate this sensitive issue with care and expertise.


  • Should my husband see a doctor to treat erectile dysfunction?

Yes, a doctor can diagnose underlying causes and recommend appropriate treatments.

  • What are the specialties of doctors who treat erectile dysfunction?

Urologists, primary care physicians, endocrinologists, cardiologists, and psychiatrists.

  • Can ED be a sign of other health problems?

Yes, it can indicate cardiovascular disease, diabetes, or hormonal imbalances.

  • How can I support my husband psychologically?

Be patient and understanding and reassure him that erectile dysfunction does not change your feelings towards him.

  • Should we see a couple’s therapist?

Couples therapy can help address relationship dynamics and improve communication about ED.

  • Is it a good idea to use supplements for ED?

Consult your doctor before using nutritional supplements, as some may interact with medications or have side effects.

  • How can I help reduce my husband’s anxiety about his sexual performance?

Encourage relaxation techniques, focus on non-sexual intimacy, and avoid stress.

  • How can I maintain intimacy and deal with erectile dysfunction?

Focus on emotional connection, explore non-sexual forms of physical intimacy, and communicate openly.

Dr Raya Zreik
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